Geometrical beauties

I just need to share how gorgeous those jewellry boxes are. Lately, I have become a lot more interested in interior design. While, I may not have the funds or space for anything ambitious, I love finding things like these that feel really special.

Fick dich

I am taking this german course and thought I should listen to some german music to boost my study techniques. Searching on Spotify, I put on the first german song that I found. From the title of this entry, I think you can guess what the lyrics mostly contained. On a side note, I read through my old entries again and scrutinized my language. As you may have noticed, I am trying to use som big fancy words. Mostly, it is just for fun, since I want to widen my english vocabulary. So please excuse me if they are not used in the most appropriate ways. I am still learning. (Furthermore, most of the times when I write these entries, I am quite tired. Hence, the poor grammar at some places.)

However, today the main purpose of writing is not to brag about the new german expressions I´ve learnt. Instead, it is time to reflect and be honest. To be honest, I am still not over Henrik, my ex-boyfriend. Even though the reasonable part of me know it´s being in a relationship that I miss and not specifically him. I can´t help but miss him. Miss the little things we had together. What tears me down the most, is that everytime I think I am done crying about him, the tears still come a week later. It´s been 3 months soon since the break up and I almost feel embarrassed for still crying about him. At the same time, I have moved on. I´ve even slept with someone else (first one night stand wohooo).

In the end I know that I will be fine. I AM fine being single. Especially the last month has been so incredibly fun, being a mentor at the freshmen´s introduction. I just need to give it time. Eventually, I hope that I will be able to look back at our relationship and remember the good parts. Not just a horrible ending.

A night out in Copenhagen

It was 5 days after Henrik broke up with me and I was more than ready to replace tears with shots and club dancing. A friend was turning 20 and the occasion was of course to be celebrated across the border in Denmark. Wearing a sexy silk jumpsuit I scanned the crowd as I entered the club. On the side note, everyone should own at least one item of clothing that instantly make you feel drop dead gorgeous. At that point, I was quite intoxicated. The goal of the night was to hook up with hotties and forget about Henrik. Unfortunately, the evening did not really go as planned. I am sure they were all nice people. However, I did not feel attracted to anyone and that night I just wanted to go on appearance. To be frank, no one in the club/ bar was hot...

In my drunken state, I still could not forget about Henrik. Soon I was outside the club crying my heart out. What felt awfully good though, was my friends being angry at Henrik and insulting him on my behalf. I know, quite petty. But they were just being protective. The birthday girl wanted fries, so we left to find a burger place. The moment I walk into the restaurant, I instantly notice the incredibly hot guy sitting alone by a table. As my friends order, I suddenly feel very brave and charming. Being reasonable drunk, I walk up to him and introduce myself. Mr. Incredibly Hot is apparently from England and has the sexiest British accent. He is on a Europe trip (So cool!) with a friend who is still at a club together with a girl. Hence, sitting alone. Even though, we were both under the influence of alcohol, the conversation was flowing perfectly well. "Can I have a hug?" is taken very well and I receive a very nice hug from him. I show him my imperfections (short pinkies relative the other fingers and a really crooked tooth while the other teeth are completely straight). In return I get to know that he studies international business at University of Leeds. Like me, he has just finished his first year. However, he took a gap year before and was a ski instructor in Vernon (he became even hotter after that fact was revealed). As the conversation went on and I got to know him more, the attraction I felt for him just grew.

Eventually I said: "So I am going to be bold now and ask: Can I have a kiss?". "Sure, but I don´t want to do it inside here with all your friends watching." He had a good point, hooking up at a plastic table inside a burger place is not the nicest setting. We went to get water and joined my friends who had a great time watching me do my "game" as they called it afterwards. They were all doing a rather poor imitation of his British accent. As we were both leaving the restaurant I worked my courage up and said "Sam, I still want a kiss from you." Outside a hamburger place, out in the beautiful Copenhagen, I had my first hook up. He tasted like blueberries from the chew gum I gave him before. My last words to him were "You´re hot as fuck." I know, very classy. However, I did say "You´re the highlight of tonight." A bit better eloquence. He told me I was very brave and attractive. What a perfect confidence boost. After that, I was on cloud nine, even as we missed our train back to Sweden and had to wait an hour for the next.

I kind of wish I could meet him again. He was so easy to talk to. For now, he will remain as a fond memory of summer this year.

"Little boys with fancy toys"

Say Lou Lou at Malmöfestivalen 

Yesterday, I had the most wonderful evening in a long time. My music obsession since last month Say Lou Lou, who are two enigmatic girls, were performing at the annual Malmöfestivalen.  On my trusted bicycle, I rushed down to the train station to make it onto the train towards Malmö. The girls were just as good, if not better live, and they spoke the most charming upbeat Swedish accent! My personal favorite song of theirs is "Beloved", as it encompasses my feelings after the break up with Henrik perfectly. And getting ready for a party is now done to their "Games for Girls", which the title quote comes from.

The great music aside, a gorgeous guy in the public caught my eye. A few months ago, I began building up the courage to approach strangers I found really attractive and compliment them on their looks. This is just what I did after the performance was over. It just happened that mr Gorgeous and his two friends were heading in the same direction as me, so it´s definitely not like I followed him. I just happened to walk in the same pace as them. Finally I puffed up my courage to approach Gorgeous and say "Excuse me, I would just like to say I think you´re really hot." He was positively beaming by the compliment, answering "Thank you! You just made my day!" and gave me a hug. Of course to be polite I complimented his friends as well, assuring them that they were great looking as well. It was just that their friend caught my attention first since he stood the closest to me by the scene.

I don´t mean to be objectifying or anything shady by giving out those compliments. It is just an earnest opinion and by the happy responses I receive, I am definitely going to continue doing that. I would certainly appreciate if someone came up to me and honestly told me they thought I looked amazing. It is a nice confidence boost to give!

Happy Monday!

First entry

I am a little bit confused myself what the purpose of this blog should be. There is a great chance that it will become one of the countless online blogs without any readers and poor content. However, I will give it a try. Most likely, this blog will become sort of like a diary.

Recently, the greatest turn of events in my life was Henrik breaking up with me. Today, it was almost exactly 4 weeks ago. His wish to go separate ways came as a complete surprise. To summarize the event shortly: he did not say a word about his change of feelings until that last day. He said some things during the break up that really hurt me, even though I know that was not his intent with his words.

Thankfully, I am way past the point where tears flow as soon as his name appears in my thoughts. Us ceasing to be a "we" was truly for the best. Even if, in the process he really hurt me by not being honest with me about his feelings until the last day. Though, from this process, I have learnt so much. About myself, him and relationships in general. Most importantly, I realized what I am worth, what I deserve. Because I deserved so much more than what I received from Henrik. He took me for granted and I should not have accepted that for such a long time. Even if love clouded my judgement.

I have realized how important it is to demand, to not just give and give and give. But also take, and if you don´t receive what you deserve, it is crucial to speak up. He said he was constantly so busy though, I knew that. That is no excuse for not putting in effort for someone you supposedly said you love. I was just as busy as him, yet I always made time for him. And now I am simply rambling.

In the end, I have grown. After seeing him last Saturday, when I made him realize that he mistreated me, I feel ready to finally let go of those repetitive thoughts and feelings. It is time for fun, for exploring and excitement.